Dumb fat bitch on the train, ass hanging out into the aisle. Gotta get off the train. "Excuse me. Excuse me". Cow can't hear me over The Veronicas blaring from her iPod. I brush past her to get off, she gives me the ugliest greasy I've ever seen, coz you know it's my fault she's hanging off the seat, so i tip my head n give the most sarcastic, patronising, insincere apology I can. The poor woman squished into the wall beside her smirks to herself.

closet space

Alright so this year is the year for coming out. Out of everybody I
know, about half of them have come out in some way this year. Whether
it be a drunken fling, a lifestyle change, or just adding to the
sexual sporting arena, this year seems to be the year for trying the
alternative sex. Even the gays I know have ejaculated a sordid story
about some dirty heterosexual acts from their opposite-sex loving
mouth-holes. Sexuality seems to be so fluid these days. Joking about
two guys who spend too much time together can be spot on. Labels have
gone out the window. I thought things were interesting when I was a
teenager, but it's the 20-somethings who are going wild.
Well I'm bored with this already. Someone tell me a story.
n8

closet space

Alright so this year is the year for coming out. Out of everybody I know, about half of them have come out in some way this year. Whether it be a drunken fling, a lifestyle change, or just adding to the sexual sporting arena, this year seems to be the year for trying the alternative sex. Even the gays I know have ejaculated a sordid story about some dirty heterosexual acts from their opposite-sex loving mouth-holes. Sexuality seems to be so fluid these days. Joking about two guys who spend too much time together can be spot on. Labels have gone out the window. I thought things were interesting when I was a teenager, but it's the 20-somethings who are going wild.
Well I'm bored with this already. Someone tell me a story.

lazy bastard

I haven't blogged for ages, I don't know why. A combination of laziness, being unable to form coherent sentences and looking after the kids. Well the last one is a lie, I don't have kids. Well, I might. You never know. I can only be so careful.
Life has been very interesting. Well, interesting in a boring soap opera sort of way. Minus the plane crashes and wives with amnesia.
I might tell you all about it some day, but I'm sure it'd be fairly boring to you, and it would enrage the other people involved. And they all know way too many of my secrets for that to happen. Though I can change their names and stuff.
Alright, this entry is going nowhere.
Cya later.

bonk if you're horny

So i'll fill you in on my easter weekend. Maybe not everything, coz it was long and not that interesting to you, the reader, but still. The stuff I can remember off my head right now.

okay, so it was:
- me - who you all know and love.
- Laurence - originally a friend of a friend, but became a good friend coz he's funny and responsible and silly and immaturely mature (will tell me off for smoking, and then yell goodmorning at a clown).
- James R. - friend of Laurence's. intellectual, weird and freakingly funny at the same time (shared my tent, we're the biggest pigs ever)
- Shane - the driver, has cool red hair with cool freckles (he's so sick of me saying so) who's funny and sooky and smooth

(it won't flow very well, i'm gonna write in dot point and fix it later)
Thursday-
We got to Newington Armory at 10pm or thereabouts in Sydney on Thursday night. We're there one minute and we had a girl in pyjamas helping us out. She was a tent expert. And i mean expert. Which was handy, because one of the tents was evil and had erectile dysfunction (get it? it woulnd't stand up). My and James' tent was up in 15 minutes, Lau and Shane's was ready about 3 hours later. I don't remember what happened after that. I guess we went to bed.

I'm gonna do this later. Sucks, I know, you're in such suspense right now, but I can't remember anything right now. I'll come back later

a shot in the dark

aka bang bang
aka a hump in the night

alright, the last alias wasnt relevant, but still.

we (me, some friends, and some strangers) went to zone 3 (aka dark zone or lazer wars) in boxhill for a midnight to dawn (12 to 7) lockin session with about 25 friends and strangers. so good. the highlight of the night was whenever sandy would get scared, scream and run. one time she meant to sneak up on one of the guys, and he came around the corner and she scream, turned and ran into a bench and flew into the wall. cute, sad and funny. and another time she was standing against wire fencing built into the wall, and she turned around and there was a statue of a skeleton or alien or something right behind her, and she screamed so loud we ciould hear it over the music and synthesised gunshot sounds and ran. I laughed so hard i got shot about 5 times (including 12 seconds in between each shot when it has no effect).

it was so much fun. the only annoying thing was this one girl who would stand in doorways, which was against the rules because u cant physically touch people, so she was forcing u to push her to get around her, and because its just not part of the game. if we were using real bullets, then sure, go for it, but it's all virtual, so go away stupid girl. it was mostly annoying because people explained it to her and she would only respond with an "i dont care". (listen to me bitch)

our team had only 5 members (plus one who came from the other team coz her girlfriend was on out team) so we always had less kills than the other teams, who were 9 and 10 member teams, but it was still good. except that our team kept shooting each other, and in some of the games that meant we lost points haha. and most of us had glasses, so when we got shot in the face, it'd reflect onto our packs and register a shot, where the other people were simply blinded.

post ur interest to attend the next one in my comments! (they let u out for smoke breaks, and they have a pizza store inside incase ur worried about lack of food or nicotine during the 7 hours)

Catastrophe on level 7

This morning at work, the wankers upstairs called me because the little water cooler spilled on the carpet (someone left it running so it overfilled the cup and kept going). So they called the security number saying
"We have a minor catastrophe up here. We need u here urgently. The water cooler has exploded".
I get up there and it's a 50cm² patch of damp carpet. So i steal some dusters-towels from the cleaners room and just places them over it. Now a potential tripping hazard, but very festive looking in the red and blue patches of cloth. I at least deserved a pat on the back for my deft handling of a major situation. Then it was home time! Time to sleep, i thought. But no, the train stops halfway home because a door won't close. Fortunately an interestingly odd fellow and his wife had the MetLink complaints phone number (sure, why not?) and they called and had the driver reset the train. CTRL ALT and DEL mr driver sir!

Idiots

I’m so irrational today. My standards for being pissed off are really low. I was looking at a girl at the station coz she seemed interesting and this guy comes n stands right between us. Idiot! Then she moves and he moves too. I'm ready to throw him on the tracks by now. Then we get on the train and I go to sit down and he steps in and sits down, taking up both seats. I guess it's better this way, coz if he had sat between me and the aisle he'd probably be dead by now. Either that or wishing he was. What a cheery fellow I am. Hopefully people are well behaved at work today.